| im in love |
[07 May 2004|12:34am] |
so life is greative met someone and im glad about that my mother likes him alot. im going to the movies with him tomorrow night and omg i cant believe what he said to me today it was so cute it made me cry.. dont worry it was a happy cry. i must go to bed one of these days ill have a long update
oh yes my new journal i also have is at www.greatestjournal.com/users/lil_baby_girl17
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2 i love you  love me
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[01 May 2004|12:54am] |
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mood |
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music |
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burn/usher |
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lifes great i been working alot so no time to really go online or update cant really update just wanted to put somehting gotta get to bed for work tomorrow
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love me
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[25 Apr 2004|05:26am] |
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mood |
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music |
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not a girl not yet a women/Britney Spears |
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*Love is giving someone the power to break your heart
but trusting them not to*
Sometimes i dont really know what to do in my life whether to go one way or the other. i sometimes choose to go the wrong way but theres nothing in the end i can do to change it...i dont know what to do with my life.
i get hurt so much by people i think love me or are my friends they always seem to stab me in the back or use me abuse me or god knows what i dont really like dealing with it sometimes and i used to try and take my pain away by cutting myself and ive resently tried to stop doing that cuz all it did was leave nasty scars so i went and got tattoos that took it away for a little bit.
Scott you've been really really sweet the past few days and i really like it.
i dont know what to do anymore i just find myself crying sometimes for no apparent reason and i never understand it life is really wierd these days some days im happy and giddie and in a great mood others im sad misserable watching sad movies all day.
Like last night i was watching How to lose a guy in 10 days and it made me cry i was like why cant i find a guy like the one in the movie no matter how annoying and psycho she was he still fell in love with her and accepted her for who she was.
Love is a really wierd thing you fall and then you get hurt but its better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all or is it?
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1 i love you love me
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| i got it |
[17 Apr 2004|09:30am] |
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mood |
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exhausted |
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last train home/ Lost prophets |
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well yesterday i went out and i found a job and shyt so im like woo hoo i have to go get my drug test done on monday and bring my paper back to her and im free from home i have a jpb and i get paid which is all good but i wont be able to see much of anybody because its full-time. i cant go back to school this year because its to late into the year but i am going back to school next year and ill be in 11th grade all over again but i shall get over it unless i went to summer school which i cant do because of work you know. well subway isnt theb est job but its better than nothing.
i have my baby cousins over for 6 days from up north and its been crazy they wake me up extremely early and then get upset when i dont play with them but i need my sleep
i have to take a trip back down to davie tomorrow to get my passport so i can use that for my picture id for my drug test and shyt i just hope my dad will take me i have yet to ask him but i will do that as soon as i get him alone you know what i mean lol.
jackie and i were chillin at her house yesterday i was suppose to go to the movies but i had to go out to dinner with my family and i didnt get home till about 9 oclock and then i passed out about 10 minutes later and rob went to johns house which sucks because i wanted to go with him to see rob and john and sydney but thats all good ill see him soon i hope i love you rob!!!!!! i love you lots!!!!
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| lonely days gone quick |
[16 Apr 2004|11:00am] |
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the tase of ink/ The used |
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well i am pretty happy and everyone will find out why shortly but i was told not to say anything just yet so know your all in suspence hehe. well this weekend im suppose to be chillin with rob stephen gabe scott a bunch of people and jackie but i dont know how well this will all work out but i guess i will see. im suppose to go bowling on saturday but i dont know if i can anymore because i have family over at my house visiting from massachusettes or however the fuck you spell that shyt and now im into this whole faere think i found out thats how you spell it not like farie
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4 i love you love me
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| eep |
[11 Apr 2004|04:02am] |
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cheerful |
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baby bash/ sugar sugar |
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yay im happy im staying at robs house for 2 days yay i love my rob hehe i wanna be with him foreverz but shh he doesnt know even though i know hell read this
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love me
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| ugh |
[23 Mar 2004|01:14pm] |
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Eamon- fuck it (dont want you back) |
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ok yall wanna know how chris really is cuz im sick of trying to play it off like he is mr fucking great shit.
The night we had that 2 hour conversation was after he fucked my close friend sara right in front of me ok right fucking in front of me great nice to know i can never get a good guy right man wtf. do i fucking deserve any of that shyt i dont fucking know damn man whatever fuck him fuck him up his stupid ass love me
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2 i love you love me
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| crazy days |
[23 Mar 2004|12:16pm] |
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crushed |
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Brand New- Jude law and the semester abroad |
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This week has been a crazy but adventurous week.
it all started when i got kicked outa my house you know and i went to my home girl jackies house and shyt i was there overnight the next day i tried to find a ride to my boyfriend chris's house you know well it didnt work to well i went with my friend jimmy we ended up in coral springs untill like 3 in the morning and then went to party on las olas in ft lauderdale so of course i didnt see chris.
The next day i went to ft lauderdale to see chris again and this time i saw him and i stayed down there of course i could have been the happiest girl in the world when i saw him that day i mean my eyes were like glowing hehe. i spent the whole day with him and the next day i spent along time with him and it was great.
Well not all things stay great it eventually got to the point to where i didnt see him as much you know and then the one night i did see him we stayed up late talking for a good 2 hours about everything in our lives and i mean everything. he kept saying he was a fuck up and he could never do anything right and he was well im not revieling all his little secrets. i mean he may not be the most perfect guy in the world but he is no fuck up sure we all make mistakes and we all screw up but that doesnt make anybody a fuck up.
well i took the advice he gave me that night and i groveled to my parents after a couple days of getting up the courage and it worked i got to move back home but the condision was i go to job corp or im being put in the states custody.
When chris told me he wanted me to get my life straight go home go to job corp blah blah all that i thought you know ill try and shyt but im not only doin it for me but im doing it for him too. And im going to listen to him when he told me that night no matter how much i say fuck it lets just up and leave to tell him to go fuck himself i will but i will never leave him.
Chris is the guy i have been waiting for all my fucking life i swear to god he may not be mr. perfect but no one is he treats me good he would never hit me and thats great and he doesnt disrespect me except for one incident i wont get into on here.
Well he turned 21 on the 20th of march and i was afraid i wouldnt see him but i did and that wasnt the best time that was the first time he had ever made me cry. i was trying to have a serious conversation with him before he went into beach bums and watched the wet t-shirt contest (which i wasnt to happy about might i ad)I havent seen him since that night and his uncle said since he is 21 and im almopst 17 im not aloud to call the house but i can still see him and it kills because i love him to fucking death more than any one of you would ever no how much i care about him but for some reason i have a feeling this happyness wont last for much longer. I mine as well enjoy it while i can right?
No matter what happens CHRISTOPHER MATTHEW MARINO i will always love you!
lets just say i havent been this happy since my ex bf kevin. but hey this one may not last even 2 more months you never know
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love me
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| im lost |
[14 Mar 2004|03:12pm] |
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amused |
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Orgy- Stitches |
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im so lost and confused about somethings and not about others!
Today im trying to find a ride to chris's house right cuz im kicked outa my house and im gunna be staying there and nothing has worked at all i dont know what to do and groveling for my parents mercy and begging on hands and knees wont work because they woulda called by now. i love my parents and everything but i cant put up with all there antics i mean we love each other but when we get together all it is is a terror zone which they mainly blame on me but in reality its not all me. im not the only problem going on my parents are to i mean jesus you think people in there 40's would figure that out right?
On top of it all im suppose to go to job corps and my incident with my family wont stop me im going anyway yes i am oh yeah mhmmm. This is now Jackie, I will be finishing Maggie's update. She just left to her boyfriends house. She will not be able to play Brand New anymore. THERE IS A GOD. I will now go. Goodbye.
-Maggie's informent, Jackie.
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love me
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| I LOVE YOU |
[14 Mar 2004|03:03am] |
I LOVE YOU CHRISTOPHER M. MARINO!!!!
THATS ALL I WANNA SAY FOR NOW BECAUSE I THINK I MAY BE IN LOVE LOL I DONT KNOW ITS THE DAMN TIME OF THE YEAR WHERE EVERYONE FALLS IN LOVE LOL!!!
ALEX YOUR MY BUDDY BOY I LUV YA IN A FRIEND WAY ALWAYS!!!!!
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love me
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| eventfull day |
[14 Mar 2004|01:14am] |
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Well i got thrown out of the house again man its crazy! I HATE THIS SHYT ITS PISSIN ME OFF. well anywayz i dont know what im doing anymore i dunno if ima go to job corps or what im so out of it right now just trying to keep my head on straight im done for now comment all you want xoxo
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love me
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| my weekend home |
[13 Mar 2004|04:08pm] |
i just finally got home from rehab and it has been wierd being back in my city but i am leaving to go to job corps and get away from here i mean its not that i dont like it i do i love it but i cant stand to be in florida anymore ima miss my friends alot and of course my boyfriend but there is nothing i can do about that you know sometimes i wish i could take all my people with me but i cant as much as i want to i cant.
shit after being in ft lauderdale for so long its wierd meeting up with every one again becuse you dont how they will react if they are still your friends or what but there isnt much to really know. you think you would know people but after leaving and coming back and seeing them again you feel differently i love all my friends alot and even when i leave again ima miss em bunches
Chris you are the love of my life :-D
i cant wait till monday to see you you sexy beast ima marry you mwahahaha
NO IMA MARRY EVERYONE WHO READS THIS HEHE
brandon alex christian i miss you all
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1 i love you love me
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